Too Cold to Smoke

So, what do you do when it's too flippin' cold to smoke and you don't have your own personal air filtered man cave?

For me, I do a couple of different things. The first thing I do is wait and value the warm days. If there's a warm day, I'm smokin'. If there are two warm days in a row, I'll do my damndest to smoke both days, even if my lovely wife gives me "the look." The thing is, in the midwest, during 9-months of winter, warm days are valuable. So, when I get one, I do crap like put up Christmas lights. I get to hang out on the roof, spark a stogie, and accomplish something. Same thing happens in January. Christmas is over, warm day hits, I'm back up on the roof taking lights down, tooling around outside taking my sweet time with the other decorations just so I can get through a good hour and a half smoke.

The second thing I do is a bit more of a PItA. I'll put on my coat, grab a stick, lighter and cutter, and torch it. Then I'll set it on my miniature stinky and head in for a minute or two. Then it's a matter of treating my house like an expensive hooker. In and out, in and out, in and out, and in and out until I'm finished. Only difference is, I go back in and stay in for the rest of the day and it takes longer than six-minutes. Okay, I know, I just joked around at my own expense. But if you laughed, it was worth it.

So, those are my options for smoking during the winter months, but here's the thing: It's not always that easy. A lot of times, the cold presents way more issues for smoking a premium cigar than just keeping your own ass warm.

One issue that I've run into is how the cold affects the burn. I've run into issues with cigars that I know are stars when it comes to burn. In fact, one colder than a witch's tit day, I had a Liga Privada #9 Robusto, which always burns like a champ for me, and the damn burn was as crooked as Bernie Madoff.

So, why is that? Well, there are probably several factors, but I think it really boils down to how the cold temps affect the wrapper and whether or not it sucks out or imparts any humidity. I think about it like condensation on a glass surface. You've got something that's perfectly stable (your cigar at 67% RH and stable temp), which is introduced to an extreme change in temperature, plus the heat of the burn. I can only guess that this probably causes the burn to change from what it would normally be.

Another issue that I've run into is a cigar just not wanting to stay lit. Again, I think it comes from the extreme change in temp. I also think wind has a negative affect on the burn. This seems to be a situation where keeping your ash on for as long as possible comes in handy. I think that it insulates the cherry and helps the burn stay more stable.

Other than coping with these issues, smoking during the winter months can be kind of fun. Crisp air rouging up your cheeks, hot coffee, and a good cigar while standing out on your deck while the world is silent under a blanket of snow. You just can't trade that for anything. Except maybe retirement in Florida where everyone freezes their asses off when the temp gets down to 60°F.

That's all for now. Long ashes...